I wanted to take some time to share how fatherhood helped refocus my commitment to living a healthier, cleaner lifestyle.
Over the course of the last 6-8 months I’ve managed to lose 60lbs, dropping from 220lbs to 160lbs. More importantly, I was able to decrease my total cholesterol level from 243 to 172 and triglycerides from 405 to 105. Six months ago, my triglyceride levels were so high that it wasn’t possible to calculate my LDL (or bad cholesterol) and my HDL (good cholesterol) was below 30. My physical exam and test results were a hard dose of reality. I could no longer lie to myself that I was doing fine. The reality as my doctor had said was that I was well on my way to beating my father to a life of angioplasties and heart medication. My father had an angioplasty around his 50th birthday and so it meant that I had about 10 years or so before I would probably go through the same thing.
Following protocol, the doctor recommended that I start on a low dosage of cholesterol medication and handed me some pamphlets on heart disease and tips for eating heart healthy. I asked him point blank, “If I don’t get on medication right now, will I die in the next 6 months?” His response was that it wasn’t likely. For me, it was all I needed to hear to suggest that I take the next 6 months to change my lifestyle from one that was essentially going to kill me to one that resembled someone that I consider a coworker, mentor and friend - Aaron Usiskin.
My transformation actually began prior to visiting the doctor’s office. It began a few weeks earlier when I went to the gym with Aaron. In his early 40’s, I had long admired not only his dedication to a life of fitness, but also his dedication to raising his 2 children with the same values about fitness and athletics. Aaron wakes up at what I and many would consider ungodly hours to make sure that he trains so that he could later pick up his kids from school and take them to whatever activities they had planned for that day. As a father of my own 6 year old girl and just finding out that I had another on the way, I decided to finally take Aaron up on his offer to help get me in shape. The decision that I made that day to quit thinking about getting fit and finally set the wheels in motion was and put my trust in Aaron was one that I made not only for myself, but for my family. I don’t just want to live to a ripe old age, but I want to live as a healthy, productive person that is not dependent on medication to stay alive. I want to be there to help my daughters for as long as they need me. I want to be a dad for life.
My first workout with Aaron was at his barn and it consisted of basic exercises using TRX straps during our lunch hour at work. He took it pretty easy on me as we went through some simple exercises. We did this type of work-out a few times and admittedly, I was lulled into a sense of “Hey, maybe I’m not in as bad a shape as I thought I was.” One morning, he changed things up on me. I met him at the gym at 4:45AM for what turned out to be a workout that broke me down and opened my eyes to where I really was in terms of fitness levels. Starting with simple box jumps, he jumped up onto a platform that was about 2 feet high and jumped off. He did that a number of times and then it was my turn. I proceeded to jump onto the platform and then of course, the momentum of my 220lbs causes me to fall off the other end. It was an embarrassing but indicative start to my day. Aaron worked his way up to a 44” box jump and was holding dumbbells! I had to work down to a 6” jump that thoroughly exhausted me.
The workout consisted of a jumping, pushing, pulling, lunging. It was something that I had never done before. He and I after the workout drove the 50 miles or so to New York City and I’ll never forget how my right knee gave out as I tried getting out of the car. THAT was the catalyst that finally sent me to the doctor that eventually outlined the seriousness of my condition. THAT was the catalyst to finally admit to myself that it wasn’t just that I was overweight, I was unfit. It took an extreme workout and extreme test results for me to stop lying to myself. It was easy to ignore being out of breath going up a flight of stairs and it was easy to ignore random aches and pains that I never felt before, but I could ignore the blood work nor could I ignore falling on my face at the gym or barely walking the two blocks from my car to the office.
I realized that not only did I need to make several changes in my life; I needed to be extreme about those changes. Taking baby steps or a half-hearted approach was not going to save my life. It was not going give me the energy to help my wife through her pregnancy and it sure as hell was going to be there for my daughter when she needed me. I put my trust in Aaron’s fitness recommendations and decided to not do any further research on that. I focused my attention on something that I can control – what I put into my body. I bought Joseph Piscatella’s book “The Road to a Healthy Heart Runs Through the Kitchen” as a start. It helped me branch out my nutrition research to other resources, including websites, journals, books and other doctors. (By the way, I just want to mention that my story is not about being anti-medicine but rather taking a natural approach if and whenever possible.) My research eventually led me to lead a lifestyle that was somewhere between vegan and vegetarian. I firmly believe in a plant-based diet that only includes organic fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts and whole grains. I do however, allow myself as a personal choice to have Omega-3 rich fish at least twice a week.
The results I’ve already mentioned speak for themselves, but what I didn’t expect were results as quickly as they appeared. I didn’t expect the abundance of energy that stays with me from the time I wake up (at what was once an ungodly hour) to the time I go to bed. I most certainly did not expect a renewed sense of focus and determination that has helped me become a better father, husband, son, friend or employee. My wife sees the difference in me, as do my friends and employer. My manager commented recently, “…these last 4 months or so is like you put afterburners on.” I would have to say that people who are approaching me for weight loss advice also see the difference.
One of the people that also saw a difference was Chris Rivinus who although I hadn’t seen in over a year. Chris was my manager (as well as Aaron’s) and like Aaron, I had long admired him for completely different reasons. I’ve never met anyone so adept at engaging those around him. He’s one of those guys that can relate to the CEO of a large firm or an entry-level employee. His ability to observe his environment, synthesize it and then understand how to relate to it is remarkable. It helped him rise through the ranks of our company and become known in the knowledge management industry. Although Chris was my manager, he always took the time to help me through professional and personal issues. I worked for him for about 2 years until he took a position overseas in what has turned out to be a phenomenal career move. I saw Chris on a recent business trip to the United Kingdom and was not only happy to see him, but extremely flattered that he took the time to get together on the day that his wife gave birth to their first child!
Over dinner, we discussed the birth of his daughter and fatherhood. We discussed the improvement in my physical and mental well-being as well as my dietary habits. It was only a few days later that Chris contacted me as he was able to put 2 and 2 together to discuss. Someone’s well-being has many components and all need to be satisfied to some degree in order to achieve the proper balance. This balance can be achieved if you’re aware of the components and are ready, willing and able to tackle them holistically. We also need a purpose. What greater purpose is there than the love for your child or family? I’ve worked out/dieted solely for vanity and wasn’t happy even though I looked great at the beach. My family is my purpose. Whatever your purpose is, find it and use it to focus your energy on making a better you.
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